Depression & Confessions
by Felton's Gryffindor
Summary: An alternative look at Hermione's lifestyle. Teenage troubles are affecting the young witch, but she can't tell anyone. When will her insecurities be taken away and replaced by the love and attention she needs? Read & Review!


**Hey guys, I'm new here. This is my first story, so please make sure you review to tell me what you thought! Please don't judge until you've at least read the first chapter. I hope you like it!**

**Love & hugs x**

Hermione was confused. That was new. Being the brightest witch of her age didn't usually include not knowing what to do. But this wasn't something that she could research by spending hours in the library or by asking her friends. Not really. If it was anything else, she would have probably tried asking Ron, Harry or Ginny. But not this. Especially as they were part of the problem.

It all started in their fourth year at Hogwarts. Everything was going well. Hermione had been particularly looking forward to this year, as it had great importance to how well she would do in her OWLs next year. Her friends seemed to have matured quite a bit over the summer. Probably the realisation that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named may be returning. The year had got off to a great start. She was doing well in all of her subjects, nobody expected anything less from the Gryffindor know-it-all. It wasn't until the Christmas holidays that she noticed anything was wrong, herself.

Three days before Christmas and Hermione hadn't felt like celebrating anything less in all her life. She had never not been excited for Christmas before. What was wrong with her? She should be happy. Not because she was off of school, as she loved learning and missed her friends, but because she was safe from any dangers that the Wizarding world posed, with her parents and it was_ Christmas_. But for some reason, that she couldn't explain, she was depressed. She hadn't felt this way for a long time. In fact, she didn't think that she had felt this way _ever_. It was strange. It was like there was something happening that she couldn't control. Something she didn't want, but had _need_ for.

Days went past like this. Hermione had never felt so low. She didn't show it, of course, but she felt like crying all the time. Christmas was a blur. She wasn't really interested in anything she was given, which was strange, since her main present was a set of books that she had told her parents she really wanted. She didn't know why, but the only thing that could make her happy right now was going back to school. That may sound normal for the over-obsessed genius, but she never usually wished to be away from her family.

It wasn't until a family outing a few days after Christmas that Hermione realised what the cause of her problems were. She loved seeing her Aunt, Uncle and especially her cousins, even more so now that they were into the same things. But they were always so much more popular than she was when they went to muggle school together. Admittedly, they were a year or two older then her, but she had always been far smarter. But apparently that wasn't the issue. Over dinner, her aunt asked ''What's his name then?'' at first Hermione didn't understand the question, she hadn't really been concentrating, but then it dawned on her. Both Laura and Gemma had boyfriends, and neither of the boys was their first. Hermione, on the other hand, at 15 years old, had never had a boyfriend. She'd never even been asked out. Well, not by a boy, anyway. Ginny had asked her out a few months ago, but Hermione was definitely not that way inclined. Well that was a depressing thought. Was she so unattractive that nobody wanted her? She knew that she could be bossy, but she was trying not to be; it just really annoyed how thick some people could be. Maybe that was it – maybe she was just too damn clever. All the other girls seemed to be able to get the boys, and they most certainly weren't the brightest of people. But what was she going to do? She couldn't just throw away her education; and she wasn't about to start coming onto every boy she saw. She needed to think of something though, she wasn't sure how much more of this she could handle.

The rest of the holidays seem to last an age. Hermione thought she must have been the only person in the whole of Hogwarts that couldn't wait to go back to school. But she just had to get back to her routine because, right now, that was the only thing she could think of to take her mind off of her problems.

At long last, Hermione was boarding the Hogwarts Express and sharing a compartment with Harry and Ron. It was just like old times. Except she couldn't think of anything other than whether or not her friends had ever or would ever, think of her in a different way. The way she couldn't stop herself from thinking of them right now. But that was ridiculous. She was just being a hormone-driven teenager. If Malfoy was to walk into their compartment right now, Hermione would probably find _him_ sexy. Ugh. What a thought!

Just as she had predicted, Hermione was feeling a lot better for getting back to normal. Now she had lessons and homework to think about, she wasn't focussing too much on the opposite sex. Until...

_Valentines Day Ball_

_All students are expected to attend the Valentines Ball, _

_accompanied by a partner. Those who are left without a _

_partner on the morning of the Ball, will be partnered up _

_by the Sorting Hat_

_Your parents have been informed and you will all be sent _

_some suitable attire for the occasion within the next week_

_Good Luck!_

Great. Now what was she going to do? No boy had ever looked twice at her and now she was expected to go to the school Ball with one? And at the same time as everyone else? She was never going to get a date, let alone a decent one.

Days passed and Hermione had still had no luck. Even Harry and Ron were sorted with girls. She had expected that Harry would get a bit of interest, being The Chosen One and all, but Ron? Really? Things didn't get much better when her dress arrived. A beautiful pink ball gown. Hermione couldn't help but try it on. She looked beautiful. Or so she thought. Would anyone else think so? But in that moment, Hermione felt amazing. She didn't want to take it off. But she had to. She would have to send it back to her parents – she wouldn't be wearing it, after all.

February 14th. Still nobody to go with. She was screwed. Now even Neville had a date. Ginny had agreed to dance with him, but only as a friend. Brilliant! Why hadn't Hermione thought of that? She could go with one of her friends. Oh wait – they're already partnered up. Ugh. Why did everything have to be so bloody difficult?

**Ok, not much happening so far, but it will get better, I promise! Please review and tell me what you thought :)**


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